FREE PURITY SEAL WITH ANY RELIC COMBO
ten thousand scribes have toiled in candlelit misery for 9,000 hours to handcraft these seals. they are exhausted. their quills are broken. but their suffering is your gain.
I am dispensing one of these sacred artifacts FREE with every Relic Combo.
Sanctification Window Closes in:
DAYS
:
HRS
:
MINS
:
SECS
advistory: DO NOT OFFEND THE MACHINE SPIRIT
To successfully claim your gift, you must use the "add to cart" button. skipping directly to checkout disrupts the promo automation
ENDS 11 JAN
PRAISE HIM
THE EMPEROR PROTECTS
FAITH IS YOUR SHIELD
PRAISE HIM
THE EMPEROR PROTECTS
FAITH IS YOUR SHIELD
Add any Relic Combo to Cart
Select Free Purity Seal
DECLARE YOUR ALLEGIANCE
TAP ANY CHAPTER TO VIEW RELICS AND COMBOS
BLOOD ANGELS
Beautiful Armor. Shame about the genetic code.
DARK ANGELS
Robes over power armor? A tactical snagging hazard.
THE INQUISITION
Paranoia critical. Even your toaster is a suspect.
BLACK TEMPLARS
Chaining weapons to wrists implies poor grip strength.
ADEPTUS MECHANICUS
My own kin. Still worshipping toasters. Embarrassing.
ULTRAMARINES
I resurrected their Primarch. You are welcome.
DEATHWATCH
They destroy xenos tech. Wasteful.
GREY KNIGHTS
Fighting daemons with swords? Inefficient. Use a gun.
SPACE WOLVES
Canine DNA detected. They need a vet, not a Tech-Priest.
Free Ring not available
ASTRA MILITARUM
The Flesh is Weak. These ones are the weakest.
ADEPTUS CUSTODES
Masterwork biology. Wasted on guard duty.
Free Ring not available
IMPERIUM OF MAN
They hate innovation. I ignore their complaints.
WHITE SCARS
Optimal velcocity. Shame about the reckless driving.
IRON WARRIORS
Too many hazard stripes. Aesthetically offensive.
DEATH GUARD
Biological corruption detected. Incinerate immediately.
BLACK LEGION
Crusade success rate: 8%. Statistically unimpressive.
RAVEN GUARD
Pale skin. Brooding nature. They need sunlight.
SALAMANDERS
Obsessed with saving civilians. Compassion is a logic error.
Free Ring not available
orks
They paint it red to go faster. Physics does not work that way.
Free Ring not available
necrons
Trazyn is a thief. I am a researcher. There's a difference.
ADEPTA SORORITAS
Miracles are just physics I haven't explained yet.
CART REWARD TIERS
HIGHER SPEND = HIGHER DOPAMINE. REWARDS ARE CUMULATIVE.
CART TIER 1:
1x Mini + FREE SHIPPING
FREE WITH ORDERS > $60
Chief Servitor: "Simple creatures require simple stimuli. It requires no labor. It will make your brain release the happy chemicals. DO NOT CONSUME."
CART TIER 2
1x Terminator + Chapter Pin
FREE WITH ORDERS > $100
Chief Servitor: "Biological pets are inefficient; they require food and they die. Emotional Support Terminators are eternal. They will guard your fragile feelings with a storm bolter."
CART TIER 3
1x Elite Specialist + Keychain
FREE WITH ORDERS > $160
Chief Servitor: "Standard Astartes are too polite for your current sector. You require a specialist. They do not understand fear. They only understand how to turn your enemies into ash. The keychain is tactical. Even your house keys should know how to kill."
CART TIER 4
Strike Force (5-8 minis)
FREE WITH ORDERS > $240
Chief Servitor: "The Flesh is weak, but your credit limit is strong. You have ascended. Show the peasants who you are."
FORGE WORLD EFFICIENCY
Prayer does not deliver packages.
Fuel and coordinates do. I have optimized both.
AUTOMATED GIFT DISPERSAL
Add any Combo, and a selector for your FREE Gifts materializes automatically.
WORLDWIDE DELIVERY VECTORS
Whether you reside in a Hive City or Feral World (Alaska/Hawaii), my Drop Pods will find you.
PRIMITIVE TAXES PRE-PAID
The bureaucrats have been bribed. The price you see is the price you pay.
SECURE
CHECKOUT
Your data is guarded by Magos-level firewalls. Your primitive credit chips are safe from scrap-code.
4,006 VERIFIED COLLECTORS
No coercion required. Purchasing was the only rational choice.
Read All Reviews
A machine is only as strong as its smallest cog. Do not neglect the details.
Common Primitive Inquiries (FAQ)
Most organic confusion is caused by user error. I have compiled this database so you stop pestering my servitors.
What is the current "Promotional" Campaign?
Add any Accessory Combo (two or more relics bundled) to your cart, and a free Purity Seal will be sanctioned automatically. Please use the Add to Cart button; skipping straight to Checkout or using "Buy Now" may offend the Machine Spirit and disrupt the automation logic.
After adding the combo, a selector window will amnifest so you can choose your specific free Purity Seal from our available designs. You will receive one Free Seal for every combo purchased. More Combos = More Seals.
Negative. It is your primitive browser technology that is failing the Omnissiah.
Critical: Freebies only appear if you add [ADD TO CART]. If you click [BUY NOW] or skip straight to Checkout, the Machine Spirit shrugs and leaves your cart bare.
Disable Pop-Up Blockers: They suppress the gift selector.
Try an "Incognito" Window: They bypasses corrupt cache data.
Use a Primary Terminal (Desktop): Mobile dataslates often lack the processing power to handle this much generosity.
What if I already paid and forgot to add the freebies I was entitled to?
Typical organic error. You were so eager to acquire the goods that you ignored the loot.
THE SOLUTION: Contact my support servitors at support@exterminatus.co immediately. If your shipment has not yet entered the Warp (shipped), we can manually insert the relics. If the transport has launched, you must live with your mistake. Move fast.
Do your rings come in Different Sizes? Will they fit me?
Most of the collection is forged at a standard US 9.5, utilizing an "Open-Loop" geometry - a crude but effective Mechanicus technique. The rings do not form a complete loop, allowing you to manually calibrate the fit by applying pressure with your own hand.
The Result: A fit molded not by machine, but by your own biological strength.
The Exceptions: Two rings possess Closed Loops (Fixed Size US 9.5) and cannot be adjusted.
1. Black Templars: Crusader's Vow Ring / 2. Blood Angels: Golden Dawn Ring
Will I be charged Imperial Taxes (VAT/Duties/Tariffs)?
Do not concern yourself with your primitive bureaucracy. I have bribed the relevant Planetary Governors.
All Taxes, VAT, and Import Duties have been pre-paid. The price you see is the price you pay. No surprises.
How long will Shipping Take?
We utilise drop pods for Global Distribution. Shipments are dispatched with extreme prejudice. While Warp Storms can cause minor delays, most acquisitions arrive within 7-14 Solar Days.
Can I use another Discount Code (e.g., Welcome Code) on top of this?
Affirmative. The threat of Chaos is infinite, therefore my resources must be infinite.
If you possess a Welcome Code or a Secret Key, you may stack it on top of the Project S.A.N.T.A rewards.
Do not question the economics. I manufacture these assets on Mars; your credits are merely data to me. Secure the loot before I recalculate the exchange rate.
I am still confused. My biological brain cannot process these instructions.
Do not distress Subject. I have anticipated the limitations of your flesh.
Solution: Direct your optical sensors to the Chat Construct in the bottom-right hand corner of your screen.
Protocol: Transmit your query. I have programmed a lobotomized servitor (customer support) specifically to handle your questions. It cannot feel pain, but it can answer your questions.